Dear 13-year old Kei,
When you walk into homeroom tomorrow, be prepared for some good news. You will receive a letter from your middle school coach notifying that you have made the basketball team. Some peers will be surprised and give you their congratulations. Others will raise their eyebrows, acknowledging that your dad is indeed the coach. Nonetheless, this morning in your eighth grade year will prove to be a monumental step in your life forever.
Sports have not been deemed as important in your eyes up until this point. Your dad was a highly successful high school basketball player. Your mom performed well on her high school track team. Even your younger brother has become involved with different types of sports at an early age. You, however, hold interests completely absent from sport. The year on the middle school team turns around this entire perspective. You will start to appreciate the facets of teamwork and competition more. The passion for basketball will start to grow. You end the season with plans to continue pursuing a spot on the basketball team throughout high school.
Your first year playing high school basketball does not provide the joy that the middle school team emphasized. You will barely see minutes on the floor during your freshmen year. Not to mention the lack of respect that comes with it. This won’t just emerge from your teammates, but your coaches as well. You will simply feel out of place and plunge into a state of dejection throughout the entire school year, even after the season.
Do you really think you have a shot of making varsity' You’re not ready.
Kids can be mean. So can adults. Your eyes become open to it all. Ready for the big fact'
You will transfer to a private school.
That’s right. Who would’ve ever saw that one coming' Don’t expect any of the surrounding individuals to understand your situation. They will all perceive your reasoning as the same:
You’re probably just going there to get more playing time. Taking the easy way out.
There’s no point in wasting your breath trying to get anyone to understand that your move is ultimately to place yourself in a more suitable environment. It will prove to be one of the best decisions of your life.
Your first year at the private school as a sophomore comes with success. The playing experience and learning how to WIN gives you a breath of relief. The future will look brighter than ever. Be prepared for the gut-punch. Junior year is one of the darkest times of your high school career. Coaching decisions and other circumstances make you feel as though you have taken a step back. You will not be able to identify why this has happened to you, considering all of the work you have put in.
By this stage, as a 16-year old, basketball has become one of the most important aspects of your life. Countless hours of gym work. Hundreds of miles spent on the road traveling to camps and other events. Studying film on your own consistently to mark errors. If you’re not playing basketball, you’re either watching, talking, or thinking about it. It has become instilled within you. The passion has grown MUCH stronger. It’s to the point of being obsessive. Not being able to prove your worth on the court during your first varsity season will hurt greater than anything. It gives you feelings of anxiety and mild depression. All you want to do is help your team win and make your family proud. You end the season with a conference championship won but the feeling of being unaccomplished does not vanish.
What makes you think you can play college basketball'
Those words are directed towards you at a point during the final semester. They hurt. They make you second guess. They also serve as even more motivation.
AAU basketball will offer an escape from the high school season struggles. You only participate in AAU for two years on a local team but find what you have been searching for all along: trust. Your coaches and teammates aid in giving you confidence to lead the team and the results will more than satisfy. You lead the team in scoring both years and start to attract some college interest.
After a grueling summer of rigorous workouts and impressive showings at college prospect camps, your high school senior season in 2013-14 is now upon you. The last go around. The season is unique, to say the least, but ends with personal benefits. You start every game and make an all-conference selection. A couple of collegiate head coaches stay in contact with you all throughout the year. While at first unsure of how your future will unfold, a decision is finally made during spring break. You commit to Randolph College. The dream of playing college ball becomes a reality.
Your first day around your college teammates is an unforgettable one. You want to impress no question. And you do just that. Respect is earned after the first day and lasts for the rest of your tenure. You will start to mature and realize your true potential as a player. A period of time comes when you feel unstoppable on the court. College is more enjoyable than high school. You’re a man on your own. Still, do not expect the experience to come without any adversity. First year passes by. No playing time. That’s expected for first-years though, right' Sophomore year breezes by. Still no playing time. Dissatisfaction starts to settle in. You feel you are deserving and you question the reasoning. Here’s the response:
You’re not college ready yet.
These words hit harder than all of the remarks back in high school. You start to feel bitterness and hopeless. What else do you have to do' You have held your own in daily practices and briefly in games throughout your first two years on campus. Everybody respects you and wants to see you perform well. For you, it’s not just about playing, it’s always been about helping the team win. You slip into another depressive state, similar to your junior year. Maybe this college is not meant to be for you. You consider transferring. After a few weeks, you pick yourself up again, like you always have. Refusal to transfer. Only one word in the back of your mind: Perseverance.
The summer before your junior year is one of the most successful summers up to date. Your body sees transformation with changed eating habits. The relentless grind is greater than it has ever been. Arriving on campus as an upperclassmen on the team, you feel at your peak as a player. The preseason is a success. The first few weeks of the official season is a success. You become a team captain. You find yourself in the starting lineup. You come down on your foot during a drill and hear a crack. Lot of discomfort. Unable to walk after a few minutes. You get placed on crutches for the first time ever. Three days later, you’re in the doctor’s office.
You have a Jones fracture, my friend.
Adversity hits once again. Nothing new at this point. Overuse in the foot. Your summer workout plan was too extreme. Lesson learned.
There will be no time for dwelling on the injury. No time for ‘why me'’ Your team will still need your leadership. Your rehabilitation process is a tedious one. Attack it like there’s no choice. The results pay off when you come back stronger and in even better shape than you were prior to the injury. You briefly play in the remaining games of the season upon your return after being sidelined for over two months. Your teammates reward you at the end-of-season ceremony.
Senior year in 2017-18 comes quicker than it did back in high school. Again, you arrive on campus feeling better as a player. Health is no longer a concern. You’re ready to lead once again and make the most of your last ride. But again, you learn how life does not have a storybook ending. For reasons unexplained, you do not play much during your senior season and end with a losing record vastly similar to the previous season. Your college basketball career ends with very little individual reward.
I write all of this to assure you that you will not be able to explain why your journey unfolds in this way. There will be great frustration along the way nearly every year. You will be appreciative of everything achieved but nonetheless never satisfied and strive for greater gain. This all connects back to the passion. The ‘never quit’ mentality stems from your upbringing. Never let go of it. There will be good times. There will be infuriating times. Embrace it all. Basketball will serve in two major reasons: to aid in your growth as a leader and develop a tenacious work ethic. The emergence of that work ethic will surprise even yourself.
When the buzzer of your final collegiate game sounds, you will not know how to feel. You will spend days thinking about the journey. But here are some things you will be able to stand proud of and reflect on:
-Four-year high school and college player
-All-conference selection in high school
-Two-year captain in college
-First member in the family to make it to college as a student-athlete
Not too bad for a guy who was doubted in making it to the varsity level. Good luck with the journey.
Best,
Your 21-Year Old Self